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by NotEvenCloseToStraight



Series: Short Stories! [35]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alpha Bucky Barnes, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Happily Ever After, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Omega Steve Rogers, Platonic Bed Sharing, Platonic Cuddling, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers Feels, Tony Stark Is a Good Bro, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, commission, from the movie, some violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-11-13 14:23:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18033398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotEvenCloseToStraight/pseuds/NotEvenCloseToStraight
Summary: “I'm your Alpha Stevie." Bucky whispered. "Always yours. Ain’t never been anyone else for me.”“There’s never been anyone else for me either, Buck.”“We'll get our own place.” Bucky pressed closer to his tiny Omega. “I’ve been working, got enough money to support you, Omega. Don’t matter where we go, anywhere I’m with you is home, alright? Any place we’re together is gonna be home.”*******************The first time Steve called Bucky "Alpha" was the day his ma passed.And for every day after, Bucky was Alpha, and he was Home, and he was Steve's.But in Azzano, the Alpha doesn't recognize Steve's scent beneath the serum and pushes him away. And after Bucky falls from the train, Steve doesn't know if he can go on anymore without his mate and puts the Valkyrie in the ice.Waking up in the 21st century brings it own host of problems, but when the Winter Soldiers shows up, Steve's world splinters apart.A battle in a helicarrier has Steve pleading with his Alpha to know him, to recognize him and as they fall towards the water, he thinks for just a second that maybe-- maybe Bucky did.





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**Author's Note:**

> This is a commission from my Tumblr and its... it's sad. 
> 
> Also, there is just like, the slightest TW for attempted suicide, but it's Steve giving up on life and putting the plane in the ice because he'd already lost his Alpha? And we all know they pull him out of the ice later. I didn't want to tag it, but it is mentioned in passing. 
> 
> Oh and the violence in the tags is the fight on the helicarrier at the end of CATWS where Steve and Bucky are fighting? It's not any more violent than that, just wanted to warn you!

The first time Steve called Bucky  _Alpha_ was the day his ma passed. **  
**

Bucky walked him home after the service, unlocked the door to the empty apartment because Steve’s hands were shaking too badly to hold the key, but when he asked if he should stay, the Omega shook his head. “I can get by on my own.”

“I’m with you to the end of the line.” Bucky said quietly, placing a hand at Steve’s bony shoulder and squeezing lightly. “I’m  _here_ , Stevie. You don’t have’ta get by on your own. I’m here.”

“Thank you.” Steve couldn’t manage much more than that, a stiff nod in the Alpha’s direction before he took that first,  _awful_ step into the apartment alone.

The kitchen was full, more food than he could eat in a months time thank to food donations from the neighborhood women, but Steve wasn’t hungry. His ma’s bedroom door was shut tight just like it’d been since she passed, and as he passed by, Steve thought about just getting it boarded over. He never wanted to be inside that room again. 

His own bedroom was small and cold, and Steve turned off all the lights before stripping down and curling up under the thin covers on his bed. A shiver started somewhere at his core and grew until he was trembling and shaking, tears slipping from the corners of his eyes, holding the blanket tight enough he was afraid it really might shred under his fingers.

_What the hell was he supposed to do now?_

The meager savings he and his ma had managed to put aside wouldn’t last more than two months at the most, and he had to spend most of it to reinforce the locks on the front door. Steve had only presented as Omega a few months ago and he wouldn’t be safe in the apartment by himself during heats. 

There were so many Alpha’s in the neighborhood and he was all alone here and scared and– Steve ducked his head under the covers and let himself cry a little harder. 

What the hell was he going to do?

“Easy, shhh, settle.” The Omega startled when the blanket was lifted away from his face, Bucky bending down to run his nose over Steve’s damp cheek before laying a second, warmer blanket over the bed. “Stevie, it’s okay. I’m here.” 

“Wh-What are you doin’ here, Buck?” Steve scrubbed at the tears on his face and tried to clear his throat. “I told you I was fine, didn’t I?” 

“I know what you told me, and it was dumb.” A third blanket covered Steve from head to toe, and Bucky tucked it in around Steve’s small feet, rubbing at his back for a minute. “So you gonna invite me in there or what? It’s cold as hell in your room, m’freezin’ my ass off.”

Steve scooted towards the wall to make as much room as he could, and the bed creaked and  _groaned_ under the weight of the Alpha as Bucky got under the covers.

He’d presented as an Alpha just last summer and had put on six inches of height and at least thirty pounds of pure muscle in the months since. Bucky  _towered_ over Steve now, flush with Alpha hormones and full of protectiveness for his tiny friend and now that they both in bed, Bucky moved so they were spooned up together, smoothing his hands down the angles of Steve’s body as they lay in silence, neither really knowing what to say.

They hadn’t done this in a while, not since before Steve had gone into his first heat in fact. Now that they’d both come into their secondary biologies it wasn’t real appropriate to share a bed anymore, wasn’t real appropriate for Bucky to help Steve get dressed when he struggled with buttons or for Steve to sit in his friends lap so they could both be in the comfy chair. There’d been a time when Bucky would hold Steve’s hand when they walked to school just to make sure Steve  ~~didn’t get his ass kicked~~  didn’t get picked on, or when Steve would sit and watch Bucky primp in front of the mirror before dates, but that didn’t happen anymore.

 _None_ of it happened anymore. 

All of the casual, comfortable touching they’d done in years past had come to an awkward, abrupt halt once Steve had presented as Omega and now, for the first time in months, Bucky was trying to offer comfort like he used to but things felt stiff and tense and  _off_ and Steve hated it.

But then Bucky sort of…  _rumbled_ in Steve’s ear and it was rough and a little scratchy and certainly not as smooth as the noise the older Alpha’s made, but it was a good noise anyway and Steve tilted his head curiously, hoping Bucky would do it again.

The second attempt was better, Bucky inching closer and rumbling low in his throat, his hand at Steve’s hip sliding up to rest over his heart, pulling the Omega tighter into his arms.

“Shhh, Omega.” Bucky said then, and the words came a little awkward– he’d definitely never called Steve  _Omega_ before– but Steve tipped his head back and hummed softly so Bucky sounded more confident when he repeated. “Shhh, Omega. Settle. I’ve got you. It’s okay. S’okay Omega, you can cry, I’m here. Not goin’ anywhere.”

Steve let it all go then, broke down crying for his ma, for how hard it had been to watch her waste away, for how sad it had been to see the meager little plot at the cemetery and the pitiful flowers, for how empty and  _alone_ the apartment was, for how scared he was.

He cried because this was the first time in ages he’d felt  _safe_ , and he cried because he worried that once he was okay, Bucky would leave again and he’d be alone. 

Steve cried because he didn’t know what to do, or how to do it, or where to go from this single awful moment in his life and he was terrified. 

He cried for a long time, and the Alpha just held him close, murmuring, “M’so sorry Omega, so so sorry” as a big hand slipped up over his waist to hold firm at his side, the one over his heart rubbing gentle patterns through his shirt. “It’s okay Steve, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere, alright? Don’t worry ‘bout it, we’ll figure it out.”

When Steve’s tears finally slowed, Bucky nuzzled at his cheek and then down his throat, huffing a warm breath over his pulse and Steve didn’t mean to whine, he didn’t, but he missed Bucky. He missed his best friend and he missed being close and now that they’d both presented Steve felt like he missed something else between them and he didn’t really know what that was. 

So he whined pleadingly, and when Bucky budged even tighter around him, Steve asked timidly, “Alpha?” 

Bucky went very very still on the bed, and Steve wet his lips and tried again. “A-Alpha?” 

“Stevie.” Bucky sighed like he’d been holding his breath for  _days_ , almost sounded like he wanted to cry. “Yeah, that’s damn right I’m your Alpha. I’m not gonna let ya be alone, alright? Nothin’s gonna happen to you, Stevie.  _Omega_. I’m here. I’m your  _Alpha_ and I’m never gonna let you be alone again.”

Alpha.

Steve turned in the bed until he could push his face into Bucky’s neck and scent at him, trilling quietly when the Alpha did the same and for a few minutes the rest of the awful day was forgotten, all the uncertain  _what if’s_  pushed aside as they just held each other, something new and long awaited growing between the pair.

When Steve woke in the morning, Bucky was still there, biting at his lip and staring with anxious eyes so Steve gathered all his courage and flattened his palms against Bucky’s chest to whisper, “Good morning, Alpha.”

“ _Fuck_.” Bucky choked out and grabbed Steve up tight, burying his face in the Omega’s neck. “ _Fuck_ , Stevie I’ve been waiting for a goddamn year for you to want to call me Alpha. I’ve been waiting– and you never did– I’m your Alpha, baby doll. I’m your Alpha.” 

“What if I had presented as a Beta?” Steve whispered, flushing pink over the endearment and Bucky whispered back– “M’still  _your_ Alpha Stevie. Always yours. Ain’t never been anyone else for me.”

“There’s never been anyone else for me either, Buck.” Steve sifted his fingers through Bucky’s hair and the Alpha pressed closer. “I don’t– I don’t want to stay here. Not without ma, not by myself. Will you– can I go home with you?”

“We can get our own place.” Bucky didn’t lift his head so the words were muffled. “I’ve been working, got enough money to support you, Omega. Don’t matter where we go, anywhere I’m with  _you_ is home, alright? Any place we’re together is gonna be home.”

“Okay.” Steve wanted to cry again, and his Alpha rumbled comfortingly. “Let’s find a home then.”

********************

********************

Steve thought he would burst with pride when Bucky joined up with the army, and he thought he’d burst with something else all together the first time he got to see his Alpha in that  _uniform_.

The color was gorgeous and the buttons were shiny and it was all crisp clean lines outlining the body Steve knew by heart and he threw himself into Bucky’s arms the minute they were back home, tearing at the buttons and shoving the pants down Bucky’s thighs and his Alpha just laughed and carried him to the bedroom.

“You’re so  _sexy_ like this, Alpha.” Steve moaned when Bucky lay him out on the bed and stepped away to get undressed. “No no wait–” he held out his hand and Bucky paused obediently, waiting for his Omega to continue.

“Will you–” Steve was suddenly shy, ducking his head and peeking up from beneath thick blonde lashes. “Will you leave it on?”

“You want me t’fuck ya in my uniform?” Bucky asked and Steve fell back against the pillows, thighs parting to show his Alpha how wet he was, slick and  _needy_ and– “ _Christ_ , Omega.” Bucky’s pale eyes flickered red as he snarled. “ _Yes_.”

“Yes.” Steve panted when Bucky opened all the buttons but still let the uniform hang from his broad shoulders, the fitted pants undone just enough to free the heavy Alpha cock. “Oh Alpha,  _yes_.”

“Mine.” Bucky growled, carefully manhandling Steve to the edge of the bed and turning him over on his stomach. “ _Omega_.  **Mine**.”

“Yours.” Steve replied promptly, arching his back and baring his neck and  _whimpering_ at that first touch between his legs. “ _Please_.”

Afterwards– after Steve had taken his Alpha through a mind numbing orgasm and after he was trembling and full, clenching around a thick knot, and after Bucky had managed to get them both on the bed and curled up together– afterwards, Steve snuggled into his Alpha and whispered, “You’ll come home to me, right Buck? Even if you get shipped out for the war?”

“Always.” Bucky was still a little rumbly from their time together and Steve shivered in delight. “M’always gonna come home to you Omega, no matter how far away they send me. Gonna come home and make you officially mine.” He rubbed gently over the still unmarked bonding spot. “I love you, Stevie.”

Steve was quiet for a minute and Bucky nudged him. “Babydoll? You alright?”

“Saw the doctor today.” Steve whispered. “He says my heats are irregular cos my body can’t handle the strain of a whole week like that. Says I probably couldn’t handle a mating heat, that even if you bit me, I might not be strong enough to spark a bond.”

“That don’t matter.” Bucky said firmly, digging his teeth in over Steve’s pulse possessively. “Don’t matter if we can’t do it th’ way everyone else does. You’re still mine, aren’t you? My Omega, my home. Right?”

“Your Omega.” Steve repeated, blinking back tears so Bucky wouldn’t know how badly it broke his heart to not be able to be a proper mate for his Alpha. “Home.”

******************

******************

Azzano was terrifying.

It rank of fear of anger and  _hostility_ and Omegas were always sensitive to that sort of thing, but it was even worse for Steve now that he had the serum. It felt like fighting through mud, trying to push past the desperation in the air to free the soldiers, and it was worse when he ran down a long corridor past rooms with unspeakable devices in them, chairs with cuffs and restraints and rows of needles, torture chambers masquerading as science labs.

He found Bucky in the last very last room, tied down and barely breathing but when Steve started tearing at the straps, ripping them right in half and tossing them over his shoulder, the pale blue eyes flew open wide and Steve’s knees nearly gave out in relief. 

“Bucky.  _Alpha_.” Steve helped Bucky to his feet and as soon as his Alpha was standing, he threw his arms around him, dragging Bucky in and scenting up and down his neck, shaking as familiar home filled his senses. “I found you.”

“Steve?” Bucky pushed away, stumbled away really, too weak from whatever the doctors had done to him and too stunned by seeing his Omega to keep his feet under him. “Steve you’re– you’re tall? Why are you tall? Is this– is this a real thing? Is this permanent?”

“Pretty permanent.” Steve tried to smile, but Bucky was looking at him like he didn’t know him at all and he wasn’t really sure why. “It’s me, Buck. Steve. I’m just… I’m just tall. It’s me.”

“Steve?” Bucky asked again, and this time he leaned in and took a deep breath, brow furrowed in confusion. “What happened to you? Why don’t you scent like  _you_?”

“I–” Something cold and terrible settled in Steve’s stomach. “I don’t scent like me?”

Bucky sniffed at him one more time and then backed up a step. “Let’s just get out of here, huh? Let’s just go.” 

The Alpha didn’t say a whole lot once they and the other soldiers had escaped, didn’t say a whole lot as Steve marched everyone back across the lines and towards the camp, and even when Bucky shouted, “Let’s hear it for Captain America!” he was frowning, his jaw set and eyes averted and Steve  _hated_ it.

That night he found Bucky in one of the tents after the rescued soldiers had been fed and showered and checked out by medical and he watched with his heart in his throat as the Alpha struggled into a shirt, hissing as torn muscles and bruises skin pulled, groaning when he finally managed to sit down on one of the bunks.

“Bucky?” Steve rapped at the desk near the tent flap hesitantly. “Can I come in?”

“Seems like you’re in already, Stevie.” Bucky’s smile had just a shadow of its usual charm but it was enough to bring Steve to his knees beside the bed, wrapping his arms around Bucky’s waist and hugging him carefully. “How you been, kiddo?”

“How have I been?” Steve shook his head and tried to push closer, desperate for a chance to hold onto his Alpha. “Buck, it’s been a year since you left and then I found you on that chair and–” for all that he was Captain America and a super soldier, at his core Steve was still an Omega who was terrified of losing his Alpha again, and he whined low in his throat when Bucky didn’t move to hold him, tipping his head over to bare his neck, inviting the Alpha to scent him. “Please, Buck.  _Alpha_. I’ve been awful, but I’d be so much better if you’d hold me.” 

“Settle down, now.” Gentle hands at his shoulders pushed him away and Steve fell back a few steps in shock.

“Bucky, what are you  _doing_?”

“Stevie.” Bucky looked tired, so tired and beyond that he looked hurt and he looked empty and he looked resigned and Steve’s heart started pounding when he realized that Bucky didn’t even look remotely happy to see him. “I just need some time, alright? Some space and some time?”

“What do you mean, you need some time?” Steve managed over the  _panic_ clawing at his insides. “Why would you need time? It’s me. Alpha, it’s  _me_.”

“Don’t call me that.” Bucky’s jaw clenched and Steve recoiled like he’d been slapped. “M’glad to see you Stevie, real glad you showed up all big and tall to save my ass but–”

“ _But_?”

“But you aren’t  _you_ anymore.” Bucky finished, unable to even meet Steve’s eyes. “I dunno what they did to you, or why you let them do it, but you aren’t  _you_ anymore and I don’t like it.”

“It’s me.” Steve whispered, a tear sliding down his face. “I’m just bigger now. But that–that’s good, isn’t it?” He ignored the warning growl from the Alpha and scooted close again. “That’s good though, because now I’m strong enough that we can bond. Remember? The doctor said I couldn’t handle a bonding heat but now I can. We can be mates now. I can be  _yours_.”

He took a chance and put his hand on Bucky’s knee, sliding upwards in tiny increments and shuddering as he felt the warmth of his Alpha through the pants, the strength of the muscles as he palmed over Bucky’s thigh. “I’ve  _missed_ you, Alpha. And this will take some getting used to but–”

“No.” Bucky stood up abruptly and put some distance between them. “No Steve, you just don’t get it.”

“No.” Steve rotated so he could see Bucky again. “No, I don’t get it. What the hell is going on?”

“I know it’s still you.” Bucky said after a moment of silence. “In my head, I mean. You sound the same and even though you’re a big ol’ bastard now, you still sorta look the same. But my Alpha–” he touched his chest. “–As an Alpha, I don’t know who you are. I don’t know your scent anymore.”

“You’re a gorgeous Omega Stevie, just–” Bucky’s voice roughened as he glanced at Steve’s new body, his eyes flickering red in appreciation. “–just  _gorgeous_. But I don’t know you anymore. I know you’re under there, but your scent is buried with all this other stuff now and whatever you let them do changed your scent and now–” The Alpha took a deep breath, tasting the air and grimacing when he didn’t like what he found. “–now you don’t scent like  _mine_ anymore, Stevie. You don’t scent like home.

Steve didn’t know what to say to that, _what the hell could he say to that?_ , so he stayed there on his knees, fists clenched in his lap, letting his tears make patterns in the dirt.

“I’m sorry.” Bucky was crying too, his heart breaking for the Omega. “If I’d known when we said good bye that everything would be different, then I wouldna left Stevie, I would stayed right there with you the entire time. I never wanted to say good bye to you and now it sure feels like I don’t have a choice in the matter.” 

Steve still didn’t answer, but his back bowed under the effort of keeping himself under control, biting his lip bloody so he wouldn’t scream.

“I’m gonna march right into battle with you though.” Bucky cleared his throat, straightened his shoulders. “Gonna suit up and follow your star spangled ass right into hell if that’s what it takes. Things are different now, but not  _everything_ is different. You’re still my best friend, Stevie, and I’m always gonna have your back. With you to the end of the line, just like when we were kids, remember?”

“I remember.” Steve said dully.

“M’sorry.” Bucky said one more time, and then he was gone, leaving Steve in the tent with nothing but the pieces of his broken heart and the feeling that he would never find  _home_ again.

*********************

*********************

There were conflicting stories about what happened the day Bucky fell.

Some said that Steve collapsed, that he had to be sedated, that he had screamed and grieved at the loss of his best friend until he’d passed out and slept for days.

Others said that he had raged out like an  _Alpha_ , tore the train apart and killed every HYDRA soldier he came across with his bare hands. Said that when he found Zemo, he had to be pried off the man before he tore him to pieces right then and there.

There were rumours about Cap destroying a bar, ripping the shelves down and breaking benches, tossing booths through windows. They said he drank and drank and  _drank_ until the bar was empty trying to get drunk enough to forget, but everyone knew the All American Man couldn’t get drunk, so it was a wasted endeavor.

The only thing everyone could agree on, and the fact that went into the official post mission report was that after Sergeant James Barnes fell, Captain Steve Rogers was never the same.

And when the  _Valkyrie_ went down in the ice, everyone in the room knew that Cap had found a way to cope with losing Bucky, suicide wrapped in a gift of saving the world, Steve giving up on life because he had nothing else to live for.

They all knew it but not a single person said it, and when prayers were said that night, they all prayed that Steve had found rest in those last minutes, that maybe his broken heart had found a measure of peace.

**********************

**********************

Tony Stark was a beautiful, brash Alpha, all dark hair and cocky smiles and quippy one liners and enough hormones to make Steve feel like rolling over and presenting right then and there.

But Tony also reminded Steve so much of Bucky that whatever flirty courtship they could have had was drowned in a wave of sadness and longing and broken heartedness that eventually turned into  _anger_ on Steve’s part.  

And Tony always looked a little confused when Steve snapped at him, always looked like he couldn’t figure out how they’d gone from all but eye fucking each other to Steve arguing every single point Tony made or purposefully going out of his way to pick a fight. Eventually, Tony started returning just as good as he got, and then they couldn’t go more than five minutes without snapping at each other with cutting sarcasm and jokes that were thinly veiled insults.  

When the behavior continued after the Battle of New York, jokes about ‘ _Cap and Iron Man need to just fuck and get it over with_ ’ started to surface and snarks about ‘ _unresolved sexual tension_ ’ were on the late night shows and on the cruder talk shows, mentions of how it’d been so long since Cap had a good knot, he was acting out just for attention.

It was humiliating and  _infuriating_ and Steve put more than one hole in the wall before Tony finally confronted him about it.

“You need to get out.” Steve snarled when the Alpha knocked at his bedroom door. “I don’t want to see you.”

“Saw the tabloids, did you?” The Alpha didn’t set one foot into Steve’s room, but he didn’t leave either. “Cap, you need to stop letting it bother you. People are gonna talk no matter what, but at the end of the day, you’re Captain Fucking America and way better than them anyway. Let it roll off your back.”

“Let it roll of my–” Steve started to shout, but Tony cut in– “Cap, I have a lot of resources you know? Own all sorts of buildings and companies and have access to more information than your pretty little head can possibly imagine.”

“I don’t care about that. Why the hell are you telling me–”

“I’m  _trying_ to say, if you’d like me to try and find some info on your Alpha so you can have some closure? I’ll do it.” Tony finished and Steve whirled around to stare at him. “Sergeant Barnes, right? My dad used to talk about him. Nothing official says you two were mated, but it doesn’t take a genius to tell that you’re acting like a grieving Omega.”

Steve crumpled a little then, stunned by how true it all was, embarrassed that Tony Stark of all people had figured out what was going on. He dropped onto the bed and put his face in his hands,  and Tony rumbled something soft and coaxing from the doorway.

“I remind you of him, don’t I?” Tony was talking softer now. “I’ve seen the pictures, I know we don’t look alike but I’m an Alpha and I have dark hair and I’m pretty much taking care of you like an Alpha would’ve in the old days so it brings up all sorts of feelings? It’s fine. It’s  _fine_ , Steve. Stop being angry about it and just let yourself grieve.”

“Seventy years.” Steve bit out, and Tony countered, “It’s been like three months tops. You went into the ice about six weeks after Sergeant Barnes fell, it’s been about six weeks since we pulled you out. Three months isn’t long enough to grieve a mate and since you haven’t had time to do it right in this century, I’d reckon a guess that you didn’t grieve him properly back then either.”

“You’d reckon a guess?” Steve repeated. “What does that mean?”

“I don’t know, it sounded old timey, thought it might sit well with your ancient ears.” Tony shrugged and Steve actually smiled a little bit. “You tell me how to help you get through this and I’ll do what I can. You need to live somewhere else, that’s fine. You need to destroy a few things? Ask Doctor Banner about the room in the basement I built. You want me to try and find out what happened to your mate or his family or anything like that? Just tell me. We’ll figure it out.”

Steve was quiet a moment. “You’re nicer than I thought you’d be.” he finally said. “Everyone said you were an asshole.”

“Oh, I’m definitely an asshole.” The Alpha said nonchalantly and Steve smiled again. “But we’ve all lost someone sometime, Cap. And we all need some place to call home.  So. You can call this place home and work through who you lost and maybe I’ll just buy that particular tabloid so they stop printing that bullshit and everything will work out.”

“I…appreciate it, Tony.”

“Ain’t no thang, Cap.” Tony turned to leave. “Let me know about your mate, alright? Whenever you’re ready.”

Steve barely made it to the en suite bathroom before he was on his knees and vomiting.

A place to call home? He knew Tony meant well, but the Alpha had no idea. 

Steve would never be  _home_ again.

********************

********************

_“Who the hell is Bucky?”_

Sam had to drag Steve off after that, physically manhandle the shell shocked Omega away from the fight and to some bit or safety, had to prop him in a chair because Steve physically couldn’t hold himself up. 

“Who the hell is Bucky?” he hissed at Natasha and the other Alpha shook her head in alarm. They had no idea why the Winter Soldier had brought Cap to a stand still, or who  _Bucky_ was or why Steve was basically comatose, staring at the wall and rubbing the base of his neck absentmindedly, his eyes glazed over as he lost himself in thoughts of the past.

“He’s not Bucky anymore.” Sam said later, keeping his distance from Steve as he did. “He’s not your  _Alpha_ anymore. You can’t approach him like he knows you. You might not be able to save him, Cap. You might have to just stop him.”

“Bucky will always be my Alpha.” Steve answered without taking his eyes off the water. “He will  _always_ be my Alpha and he will always be home. I just have to remind him.”

“How are you going to do that?”

“…I don’t know yet.”

*********************

*********************

It was another bridge high in the air and Steve was staring at Bucky all over again, but this time Bucky didn’t know him, wasn’t reaching for him or calling his name and it was all so wrong and so terribly familiar that Steve didn’t know if he could do it.

“People are gonna die, Buck.” He whispered and the Alpha didn’t even twitch. “Oh god,  _please_.  _Please_ don’t make me do this.”

And later, when the helicarrier was falling from the sky, after Bucky had stabbed Steve through the shoulder and after Steve had broken his Alpha’s arm and after they were both bleeding and hurt–

“You know me!” Steve cried and Bucky’s fist split his lip. “You know me! You’ve known me your whole life!”

“I don’t know you!” Bucky screamed, hair wild and eyes afraid, and hit him again. “I  _don’t_!”

“Your name is James Buchanan Barnes.” Steve fell back weakly, wasn’t willing to hit his Alpha, couldn’t bring himself to fight. “It’s James Buchanan Barnes but you hate it, so we call you Bucky. Everyone ‘cept your ma cos she didn’t name you after a president just so you could go by a stupid nickname.”

“Shut up!” Bucky was visibly panicking, his punches wild as they landed. “Shut up! You’re my mission! That’s all you are!”

“I’m not gonna fight you.” Steve pushed his mask up and off his face, let his shield drop over the side of the aircraft and into the water. “You’re my friend, you are my best friend and I won’t fight you.”

“You’re my mission.” Bucky repeated, staring down at Steve with horror dawning on his face. “You’re my…mission. I have to finish it.”

“Then finish it.” Steve reached up and put his hand on Bucky’s shoulder, on the unforgiving metal and slid up until he could press his fingers over Bucky’s pulse, digging in over the bonding spot firmly. “If I’m your mission, then finish it. I’m not gonna fight you, Buck. You’re my Alpha, and I’m with you till the end of the line.”

There was a moment, a few seconds, nothing more than a heart beat of time when Bucky’s pale eyes flickered red and the hand holding Steve down faltered.

“…Stevie?”

And then they were falling into the water, the helicarrier crashing around them, the metal twisting and snapping and glass shattering and the water was cold, seeping into his wounds and paralyzing him with pain and Steve really thought he might die this time.

“ _Stevie_?”

Steve closed his eyes and let himself go.

*****************

*****************

Steve didn’t mind Marvin Gaye, and he was grateful for Sam’s presence at his bed when he woke up. He was grateful when Natasha came in with her Omega Clint and traced the lines of his stitches before bending down and nuzzling against him, her mate following suit, purring softly so he wouldn’t feel so alone.

He was grateful for Pepper who handled all the press and for Tony who had him moved to a very private room on the top floor so he could recover in peace, and he was grateful when the Alpha handed him a file with any and every bit of information he had found on the Winter Soldier.

“Tony–” Steve’s eyes widened when he saw the names Howard and Maria Stark. “I didn’t– I’m so sorry.” 

Tony just shook his head. “Not to sound insensitive to how much you definitely hate bridges, but seriously? Water under the bridge. Wasn’t easy to read, that’s for sure, but–” Tony cleared his throat, obviously affected by the information even though he was trying to brush it off. “–there’s no reason to worry about it. The man in that picture and your Alpha are two different people and that’s two different lifetimes. I’ll be fine. Let’s just focus on getting him home again.”

Steve was grateful for it all, but he was most grateful when they all left him alone, when the noise and fuss was finally over and he was alone in the hospital room with nothing more than the steady beep of monitors and the darkness to keep him company. 

So he closed his eyes and thought through every moment on that damn helicarrier, every move that Bucky had made, the way his voice had been flat and his focus unwavering.  

Then he thought about how Bucky had panicked when Steve said his name, how he had been horrified when he saw Steve’s face, the way those heartbreaking eyes had flickered red and how lost and confused the “ _Stevie_?” had sounded. 

The barest flicker of recognition and then they had fallen, but Bucky had known who he was. Even if it was just for a second. And it wasn’t enough but it was  _something_ and Steve could–

He froze when there was a noise at his window, a soft scrape as it was forced open. There was a thump in the dark as someone jumped to the floor, heavy foot steps coming closer and closer to his bed.

Then there was a body looming over him, a cold metal hand impossibly gentle at his side, and a nose brushing over his neck, a shaky breath as they scented up and down his throat.

“Stevie?” the Alpha asked, uncertain and almost afraid and Steve didn’t know what to say. 

Another minute of silence, then the Alpha spoke again. “You– you gonna invite me in there or what? It’s freezing out here.” 

Steve scooted over with out a word, making as much room as he could. 

The hospital bed certainly wasn’t made to hold two full grown super soldiers and it strained under the added weight when Bucky climbed in next to Steve. They turned carefully with feather light touches as if Bucky thought Steve would break, Steve well aware that there was a chance anything could set the Winter Soldier off, until they were spooned together. 

It had been a long time since they had shared a bed, a long time since the Alpha had put his hand over his Omega’s heart and held him protectively and a long time since the Omega had let his fingers creep over to settle at his Alpha’s hip, and a long time since they had fallen asleep in the dark, with their legs tangled and bodies snug,  too hot under the covers but not willing to separate until the sun came up.

And in the early morning light, Steve rolled over in the tiny bed and flattened his palms on Bucky’s chest, staring up into the same blue eyes he’d fallen in love with way back when life was a hell of a lot easier than it was now and whispered, “Alpha?”

“Yeah, Stevie.” Bucky’s voice was hoarse, deeper than it used to be, not a trace of the Brooklyn accent that had marked their speech growing up. “Yeah,  I’m your Alpha.”

“You know me?” Steve bit at his lip anxiously. “You know me? Do I scent alright?”

Bucky dropped his head, buried his nose at the curve where Steve’s neck met his shoulder and breathed in deep, a sigh that slid into a contented moan as he nuzzled at Steve’s cheek, up to the soft spot behind his ear. “You scent like  _home_.” he growled and the Omega purred shakily. “You scent like mine and you scent like  _home_.”

 _Home_.

Steve closed his eyes when Bucky’s teeth landed over his bonding spot, digging in sharp enough to sting, arousal curling low in his belly as memories and instinct took over, blending into a sweet haze where the only thing that mattered was that his Alpha was there with him again.

“I’ve been waiting so long to be home again.” he whispered over a few tears and Bucky rumbled, “Settle, Omega, settle. I’m here. Home is anywhere we’re together, and I’m never gonna leave you alone again.”


End file.
